Mingle with Marcy: Circle of Life

By Dr. Marcy Stoll, EdD, MSN | CEO | ACEN

May 20, 2021

There are moments when life hands us a reality check, and at that moment, we face the truth that anyone’s lifetime is momentary. We know the loss of a loved one is part of the circle of life; however, knowing this and experiencing it are two different conversations.

My dad recently died very suddenly and unexpectedly; he was 94. While I knew someday, we would have to say goodbye, doing so is harder than I expected. It is easy to intellectualize this loss. After all, he was 94, had a long and happy life, was relatively healthy, and lived in his own home with assistance from my husband and me. It is harder to feel all the painful emotions. I miss him.

As nurses, we console many people experiencing the death of a loved one. I know someday my tears of sadness will fade when I think of my dad, and they will be replaced with a smile and all the silly stories we will tell about him. I know strength is the capacity to withstand the weight of this loss, but I do not want to be strong today. I just need to be a grieving daughter right now.

The nurse in me knows I need to grieve as well as practice self-care, and I am trying to take care of myself by doing yoga, taking walks, baking, talking with friends, visualizing happy moments with Dad, giving myself space to just be human and not “superwoman,” crying when I need to cry, and writing this message. Thank you for listening. To those that have experienced a loss too, please accept a virtual hug from me and pass it forward to someone else.

Nothing can change the wonderful ways a parent touches your life.

Stay safe,

Marcy